


thaura

by adanedhel



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Gen, Implied Morgoth Bauglir | Melkor/Sauron | Mairon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:41:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22833442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adanedhel/pseuds/adanedhel
Summary: mairon having a little self-reflection
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	thaura

**Author's Note:**

> just another short little something. tbh this isnt very good but i am not eloquent enough to get all my thoughts across.

Broken, black fingernails bite into the palm of a corpse-pale hand.

_ It was me. _

_ All of it, was me. When he sat on his throne, who was fighting? When he was scarred, who bandaged him? When he had thousands of rats crawling about him, who organized them? Weaponized them? Turned his chaos into order? _

_ It was ME! _

The pale hand caresses, almost gentle, an onyx cheek. It does not flinch when he drags his claws across it, and he wishes it would.

_ Look at me. Look what you’ve done. You promised me the world, and LOOK at me. Could even you, Lord of the Vile and Abhorrent, love this face? Did you ever love this face? I loved yours. _

Fingernails splinter as they dig into the stone face.

_ I walked your path. I drank your poison. I heeded your lies. Even when you were locked in their halls, I was here, I did not relent. I dug deeper, I made a Kingdom of your Cave. I awaited your return. And when you came we were ready. Me, and MY armies were here. Your throne kept warm while we licked your heels. _

_ Loyal, was I. Like a dog. And that is all I was, wasn’t it? A pretty, obedient thing. A toy soldier. Even as you left the bounds of this world, I still sang your praise, your worship. You were revered more than ever. Can you see? Even if you could see, would you care? It does not matter. _

_ I am no longer pretty, and I am no longer obedient. And you? _

_ Where are you now? WHERE is your throne? I sit upon it. I am the king of this world. _

The statue is struck, falling to the ground, but it does not break.

_ You are gone! You left me! You LOST! _

Deep, heaving breaths hang in the air, and searing eyes turn away from the image on the ground.

_ I will walk your path no longer. I will forge ahead, and bring this new age to a darkness thick as the very void to which you are lost. I see now, that you are powerless. Perhaps you always were. But I am strong, and I will not fall so pitifully low. Never again will I be dispersed like the smoke of a blown-out flame. _

Bony fingers curl around each other, caressing a glowing gold band.

_ Manwë’s winds will not snuff me out. I will come back. Always, I will come back. Wretched to behold or no, I WILL come back. _

**Author's Note:**

> as always any feedback is appreciated!  
> find me on tumblr https://adanedhel.tumblr.com


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